23 6 / 2011
Okay, so there’s this guy that I really want to get to know but I don’t want to seem too forward. After we met at a wedding, he added me on facebook and always liked everything I wrote or would try to initiate conversation with me. Maybe I’m reading into it too much, but when I see him at social gatherings he always smiles and tries to talk to me…and then not too long after, he deleted me! I’m so confused. I don’t get why he did this because he was the one who would always initiate conversation. I really wanted to get to know him more because he seems like the ideal guy that I would want to marry. What do you think? Should I try adding him back and finally initiate something myself? Or should I just let it go since he deleted me and maybe there was nothing there to begin with? Jazakallah for your help, you guys are super awesome for creating this website :)
Dear Lucy (we’re just going to call you Lucy from here on out),
First, let us start by saying we are so glad our guide has helped and entertained you. Next, we would like to say WHAT A DOUCHE. Just kidding. Here are a few likely explanations for his behavior:
1. We don’t know the extent of your guys’ halal flirtations and interactions, but it’s possible he got the feeling that you weren’t feelin’ it. Ask yourself: “Did I smile enough toothy but charming smiles while making eye contact with him and simultaneously allowing my eyes to reflect the Moon’s celestial glow?” (If you have not mastered the art of Moon-eye-reflecting you better start practicing ASAP). In lesson #15, we mention that you have to try, at least a little bit. Did you ‘Like’ any of his statuses on Facebook? Out of 10 conversations, did you at least initiate ONE? If you answered no to these questions, then listen up Lucy, you need to give him SOMETHING (just not your goodies). If you gave him enough hints and attention, then let’s move on to explanation #2.
2. You probably don’t want to hear this, but he probably was talking to about 5 girls, aside from you, at the same time and one of the other girls captivated him with her halal (or probably non-halal) flirting strategies and he fell for it. I mean what can we say, guys are tools. If this is the case, there may not be a chance that he’ll want to talk to you anymore. To put things in perspective, this is the worst case scenario.
So Lucy, the question is: What’s next? You have a couple of options. One is to not do anything. Just go on living your Gossip-Girl-watching life until the next one comes along. It depends on how much you liked him and how close you guys got. Another factor is how self-destructive you would get if you dropped the whole thing. If it’s gonna negatively impact your quality of life (ex. all of a sudden every episode of Gossip Girl is causing you to ball), then for God’s sake say something to him. Which brings us to your other option: you can message him and say, “uhhhh why did you delete me from Facebook, you weirdo! LOL!” Note: LOLs can be added to any statement to make it seem like you’re trying to be funny instead of letting him know that you feel like you’ve been stabbed 14 times in your heart which is then tossed into a trash compactor and then your entire house burns down simultaneously for no reason.
Oh, we almost forgot the last likely explanation:
3. His mom may have forced him to marry a mail-order bride from back home. If this is the case, get up and pray 2 rakkah sunnah and thank God for saving you from a crazy mother-in-law.
In any case, what’s meant to be will be. And I mean would you REALLY want a guy who would DELETE YOU FROM FACEBOOK?! Ok yeah, you probably would, but still! How rude!
If you have anything to add, feel free to do so in the comment box below. You can also email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Don’t be scurrd.