February 2012
9 posts
Question: How do you keep aunties away?
Problem: Recently, the mother of a Muslim guy friend (if you can even call him that— we talk, like, occasionally) I had exchanged “the approving look” with another auntie when I was talking with her son and offered him food (my fam was hosting a social gathering), and I am now deathly afraid. How can I gracefully become uninteresting in her eyes? I need some “postponing marriage” skills for you to share & advice on how to protect yourself from vulture-aunties. Thanks in advance!
Presidential Beards for President's Day
Apologies for no lesson today, Halal Flirters! We are on vacation for President’s Day! Although there were no Muslim presidents, many of our president’s rocked the halalest beards, mashAllah! So… we celebrate them! Check ‘em oouuttt!
Lesson 32: Top 5 Mr. Mashallah Beards
The “Can’t lower your gaze. Can you?” Beard:
The “After Fajr” Beard:
The “I’m sexy (mashAllah) and I know it” Beard:
The “Is it sunnah to look this good?” Beard:
The “Every muslim male should want to be me” Beard
Lesson 31: How to Rid yourself of Princess Syndrome
In Lesson 29 we described to you a few symptoms that can indicate that you are probably suffering from a world-disintegrating disease: Princess Syndrome. In this lesson we will give you a few simple tips to cure yourself if you are unfortunate enough to have developed this despicable illness. Follow our steps below:
Lesson 30: Valentine's Day Mubarak!
Alright Halal Flirters, this Tuesday is the most important day of the year (you know, after Eid, Lailatul Qadr, and all the other religious days). So, we’ve come up with a short list of halal romantic V-Day ideas.
1. Read Surah Taubah together and then pray like hell that you both won’t get burned for celebrating Valentine’s Day (they don’t call it VD for nothing).
2. Profess your love over the phone, but make sure your mother (and his) are on the line so it will be halal.
3. Attend Fajr prayer together and watch the sunrise from the masjid’s windows (remember to remain in separate prayer halls).
4. Invite him over to meet the parents. It can be a cute respectful double date… for eternity.
5. Send this present to your valentine:
We hope this list helps you plan the perfect V-Day for you lover. And if none of these ideas work, you can always read halalflirting.tumblr.com together from separate locations while lowering your gaze and maintaining a zero physical/verbal contact policy. Good luck!
If you have any questions let us know! Halalflirting@gmail.com
And if you want to email us to tell us we’re going to hell… you can keep that to yourself.
Lesson 29: How to Know if You Suffer From "Princess Syndrome"
Halal flirters!!! We’re back to doing what we do best!!! That is… telling girls what to do. After travelling the world we realized that a ridiculously large number of you suffer from what we like to call the “Princess Syndrome”. Yes, this might sound nice at first, but it is extremely detrimental to your Mr. MashAllah Hunt (and to the world at large).
We’ve collected a list of Princess Syndrome symptoms. If you say “Oh whoops that’s me” to any one of them, you have unfortunately been infected by this horrible affliction. Make sure you stay tuned for Lesson 31: “How to no longer suffer from Princess Syndrome” for a quick and dirty home remedy.
Question:
Salam! Nice blog!:). I need help with my situation. I know a guy for 1month now and we have been talking a lot at the beginning, he said he had feelings for me and I did too. But then, he just ignored me. He doesn’t return my texts and rarely calls me unless I’ve called. He said he felt depressed, I understand, but he never asks about me. I make du’a everyday for us to be in the halal finally and that he likes me, but I wonder now if I should continue trying to get him interested in me or giveup?
Lesson 28: How to Get a Girl Who is Out of Your League
Here’s another one for the fellas.
Ladies: we know you are starved for some of our wisdom and are getting annoyed that we’re posting lessons that are directed at guys, but these lessons are useful for you too. We’re not sure how, but read on and I’m sure you’ll come up with some ideas of your own. Our next lesson will be strictly girl talk, we promise.
SO FELLAS…have you ever crushed on that one girl whose face is glowing from so much nur it makes you want to stop in your tracks and pray two rak’ahs? Two things: 1) that nur you’re seeing is most likely Christian Dior Shimmer Star (that’s make-up); and 2) this is a common reaction when the girl is most likely OUT.OF.YOUR.LEAGUE. Yes, this can be a downright depressing realization and most guys will move to another country, become obsessed with World of Warcraft, and sometimes even start to hurt little animals (don’t EVER do this or we will hunt you down). Fear no more our little Mr. Mashallahs-in-training, we are here to help you get the girl of your dreams!
